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Just How Dry Was Your January?

February 1, 2018

I commend anyone who can abstain from their poison for a whole month. Seriously, you deserve a medal and a magnum of Prosecco.

 

Same, hun.

 

I understand the concept behind ‘Dry January’ – after the notoriously overindulging month of December, and the multiple celebrations that we Brits use as an excuse to consume our body weight in wine, detoxing your body and cleansing your organs of all that nasty, delicious liquid would definitely seem like a good idea. That, combined with the fact that everyone spent all their wages on said wine and buying literally all of their gifts on Not On The High Street, makes January not only the most depressing time of year, but also one of those living-on-dry-pasta-and-leftover-cheese-for-17-days-straight months. Alas, the perfect opportunity to pack in the booze.

 

Obvs, swearing yourself off the devil’s juice is going to have plentiful health benefits – better skin, no hangovers, lower calorie intake, improved blood sugar, cleansed liver, less likely to fall over twerking and break an ankle…

 

But, what does it do for your sex life?

 

I’m sure we’ve all heard of ‘whisky dick’. I, for one, have had countless conquests fail to perform as a result of their alcohol consumption. I’ve also had someone pass out drunk on top of me, but that’s a story for another time.

 

 

For both sexes, “sexual response is reduced by regular and prolonged drinking”, claims Dr Abigael San, clinical psychologist and alcohol expert. In men, this presents itself as a loss or struggle to maintain an erection and, for women, can reduce natural lubrication and even make orgasms both less intense and less likely. Yikes… 

Y’all might think that alcohol is an aphrodisiac, but one champagne too many and the line between sexy and sloppy seems to blur considerably. Unsurprisingly, those who consume consistently large amounts of alcohol are more likely to suffer a loss of libido. RIP, sex drive. Studies have also shown a decrease in fertility of those who hit it hard and often (the bottle, that is).

 

Admittedly, on the other hand, a little alcohol certainly encourages you to be open minded and can lead to the trying out of new things. Winner! It is a confidence booster and almost guaranteed to liven up any standard Saturday night between the sheets. But contrary to popular belief, booze DOES NOT make you better in bed. As mentioned, it loosens inhibitions, but at the end of the day, you’re performing at the same standard as always. I shouldn’t have to continually mention this, but unfortunately, I do. Should your sexual partner be too drunk to fully consent to any kind of intercourse, please just step away. Tuck them up in bed, and sleep on the sofa.

 

 

So, sex and alcohol are not synonymous. I, personally, have had a January full of the bevvy and with very little sexual activity – most likely because genuinely think I’m still recovering from Christmas and New Year. I’ll raise a glass to you (and with most of you) all tonight, as we bid farewell to Dry January. I hope that over the past 30 days you’ve made up for your lack of alcohol and month ‘dry’, with multiple shags.

 

‘Sex… bringing a little moisture to an otherwise dry January’.

 

There isn’t much of a conclusion to this post – we all know (or bloody should do) the dangers of excess drinking. Giving yourself a detox can be a great idea, but definitely don’t deny yourself completely; a night out/mid-week tipple or two/thirteen shots of tequila at the work’s do is OK. Just be wary of your health – both mental and physical – at all times. 

 

 

 

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