Look, I’m sorry this was late but it was Bank Holiday, OK? And if the bin men can delay their jobs by 24 hours, then so can I. I had the best ever long weekend, hosted what I’m pretty certain was the best Easter Saturday lunch party of all time, and drank enough rosé to sink multiple ships. I’m now in a permanent state of recovery, battling ever-growing eye bags and the urge to eat Lindt bunnies for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I just spent £12.80 in M&S on lunch foods to last me until Friday, and then proceeded to eat every last thing. But I’m here.
I expect this week to be fairly quiet, other than (finally) getting paid on Thursday, all that my diary boasts is the instruction to clean out the linen cupboard. Wild. Although, rather excitingly, I am going on a date on Saturday night. My boyfriend and I never get time to do stuff for ourselves. Sure, we spend almost every night of our lives entangled and watching Benidorm on my laptop in bed, and we're out an awful lot with our friends and families, but we never go out and do exciting things just the two of us. We never date.
Now I love my partner very, very much, but even I know the all too familiar feeling of a relationship growing stale. It’s so easy, particularly when you live with someone or have been committed to them for a considerable length of time, to get too comfortable and therefore restless. And restless here doesn’t mean jumping into bed with your colleague or stealing their convertible, driving off into the sunset and changing your name. It means getting unnecessarily irritable when they don’t return with your Chinese food less than 30 minutes after they went out to get it and dealing with their terrible laundry etiquette by torching their dirty undies on the lawn. You have to keep it exciting. Take it from someone who’s last ‘date night’ was at the end of August 2018. I am SO ready for an evening of wining and dining with my beloved.
Date night allows your relationship to stay as current as possible. While I spend most of my extra-curricular time with my other half, it’s so rare that we sit down and chat about our lives in depth. Obviously he knows my feelings about everything on the day-to-day, but I seldom have time to delve deep into situations or fill him in entirely on the latest goss. Plus, this will always benefit your communication and gives you the perfect opportunity to air out any misunderstandings. I know the best time for me to talk about my feelings is three proseccos in.
In comparison to being single, dating when you’re in a relationship is a necessity, not a luxury. So make the time! And it doesn’t have to be expensive, either. We’re utilising a generous ‘dinner and drinks’ voucher that my fella got for his birthday, but I would be more than happy with a long walk and a picnic, trip to the pub or wander around the local historical sites. And, y’all, lest we forget dating’s USP – romance. It’s lovely to spend time with someone you really, really like and remember why it is that you really, really like them. Spending one on one time will bring you closer together and is the perfect excuse to escape your day to day stresses.
Relationships are work. We know this. And while, whether consciously or not, we channel most of our energy into career or personal goals, our relationship goals tend to end up a bit neglected. It’s so easy to take our partners for granted, when actually your relationship should be an important and prioritised project that requires focus and attention. Friendship is a critical part of any committed relationship. Make making time your weekly goal. Ask your partner out, plan a cute day/night together and then tell me it didn’t make your heart sing (if the answer is no here, please see me after class).